if only you gave us a chance♥

Sunday, May 25, 2008 { 4:02 AM }

With so much things in my head, is it getting too much to handle?

As much as i'd like to bottle it up, and as wei qi says, burst like a balloon when i'm filled enough, blogging is another option apart from crying my eyes out. Trust me. Its not for pity nor for sympathy. I just need somewhere to let it out. Its for me. not for you. See no evil! x_X

Family?
moving house.
I'll be moving in a week.. And the things have yet to be completely packed..
Barely packed at all, in fact..
The time constraint is killing me..
parents.
My parents are getting so stressed up,
that we have become their life size stress ball.
I don't blame them.. Their really stressed..
I'm actually really really worried for them..
grandma.
and for my grandma too..
Chances are she'll barely be living with us anymore..
no money.
how bout the financial burden?
What if it never lightens..
I plan to work with celeste darling during the hols just to lighten it a little.
A couple of hundreds could go a long long way.

Studies? My second priority.
I have to buck up.
Set my priorities right.
But why does it seem that everything is going completely wrong and out of control?
The harder i study, the worse the results.
perhaps i'm studying wrongly.
And my attention span is too narrow.
I need to concentrate.
I should study harder for the next half of the year.
I really want to get into my desired class.

Friendship problems? oh no.
with all these major problems going on, its the worst thing to be stuck in the middle.
In other words, i'm in the worst postition..
My heart really hurts to see them all like that..
Why can't they just STOP?
Like.. why hold grudges?
Everyone has two sides to them..
Why only see the bad sides and point out mistakes?
can't we see the good in them?
Stop badmouthing.
Stop being hypocrites.
Just keep your promises.
Don't betray..
Simple things like these could make such a big difference.
Its amazing how a friendship that takes years to harvest and blossom..
Can be shattered in a split second..
even if its just one nasty word used..
I love them all so much.. I only wish i could do more to help them see the tiny misunderstandings
that have led them to such big problems..
With jealousy brings anger
with anger brings hatred.
with hatred brings the end of a friendship;
All due to a tiny misunderstanding?

Teenage life? hell no.
Becoming a teen? Not much help. at all.
With mood swings and immature thinking, it only gets my blood boiling.
I must learn to control!

With that,
Here's my list of to do's and problems:
-Complete homework
-Study
-projects
-CCA
-Music
-Classes
-Tuition
-Get a job
-Remedials
-structured programme
-packing
-family probs
-friendship probs
-Councillor duties
-Cambodia trip
* i might've missed out some.

what if.. i'm the one who's brought all this upon myself? Maybe this is all my fault.. ):
This terrible, horrendous, unbelievebly nightmare-ish period of my life. T_T

why can't there be 23 hours and 59 minutes of day!
I hope i have time.
I must juggle.
and. keep the happy-go-lucky personality, right? (:
jia you, vanessa. X)
okay. I feel a little better. Gotta go back to packing later.
Then do math homework, pack bag..
And back to packing. my day ends at 11. (:
Bye!

Labels: toomuchtohandle?