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Baby, don't say goodbye.

about me.
The name's Vanessa♥;

Music is my drug. I fell in love with my guitar; ♥Jake walden251207.
My guzheng's ♥XiaoXi & my piano's ♥Bridgette! [:
I'm from ♥SACPS PRCS, & ♥President of the 7th Student Council.
♥1505'94 is the oh-so-awesome BOD.
Proud Christian in Cornerstone & Gen 3.6 ♥Gen 3.2.
I can't live without my Samsung Preston; ♥Purppelle Marcel Bing.
People say i'm short, i'd say i'm ♥small&petite} ;]

Chatterbox.

links and credits .
Designer/ %PURPUR.black-
Colour Code Icons

SebrinaKWA;
SIMlixuan;
ZHANGmin;
CHNGhehan;
YANGyi;
Genevieve;
Cheri;
Sinwai;
Charmaine;
Shawn;
Nadia;
Joshua;
Chernghann;
Pavithra;
Veronica;
SeeHwee;
RuiYi;
Phoebe;
Cindy;
HuiYi;
Nadia;
SinWai;
JiaJian;
Pearlyn;
Archives:
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010 { 7:47 AM }

Originally posted this on tumble but I didn't wanna spam people with personal thoughts but ahyways my tumblr add is the same as blogger except it says tumblr.com behind. Here goes...

Ive been doing quite a bit of thikibg lately after daddy talked to me about my results. Maturity of thought. I always thought that it didn't necessarily come with age or time, but I guess I came to realize that at this age we're still fIguring ourselves out. So I can't really say "I understand, I can relate to you cause ive been through that.." cause in actual fact Im jUst going through the same thing. If I don't understand nyself, I believe I have no right to say I unDerstand you! Just a rAndom thought cause I've been putting a fair amunt of thought into what im doig with my life, whether i'm ready for a relationship or whether at this age bgrs serve as mere temptations and distractions. And whether I really understand myself. I mean who am I, really? And who are you exactly? So who am I, precisely, to judge or criticize you when you're just figuring yourself out too? I mean really , no emo shit, we're all still figuring ourselves out and trying to sort out our priorities. Whether you're sixteen or eighteen, we're all still in the process of getting to know how the reality of situations, how the real world works. When we were young our loves revolved around our parents. They meant the world to us and to us whatever mom and dad said was right. You wouldn't correct them or tell them "its your fault" cause to you as a child parents never make mistakes. But now as we grow up we come to realize that our parents aren't perfect, they're wrong and thy have flaws, and that's why we learn to talk back. We also start to realize that there's so much more to the world than what we see on thhe surface. There's so much depth in a person, be it good or bad. And all these changes just become too much to handle. I guess that's pretty much when we start to gain our own insights, perceptions, views and opinion on things that actually matter to us, and not what is important to just our parents. That includes relationships friends and judging people. With so much to take in and absorb it's no wonder we explode, throw tantrums, show our attitudes.. And parents often ask us "you're a grown up person now. Why can't you be more organized?" but how can we,really. It truly does take time. And is it because puberty has ended that we are considered mature adults? As a matter of fact, no. It's really cause what we have learnt to do; is adapt and accept these conditions we live in and hence we are able to take in more at a faster speed and handle situations better. And this, my friends, is maturity.

Monday, March 15, 2010 { 5:14 AM }

Past few days have been alright. Except.. gosh. grades. Don't even talk about it.
Anyways. Grandma hasn't been feeling well of late, super worried..
Pleaseplease keep her in prayer, alright? :)


School's been rather dull of late, but i know i really gotta catch up.
Investiture is on the 15th of April, Ex councillors invitied ;)

March holidays totally like school days. haha!
Wednesday having O lvl music master class.
Gotta perform :X oh no! I really hope it goes well :) Wish me luck! :D

Today had O lvl music AGAIN. tell me bout it.
I totally suuuccckkk at this whole thing. haha. Oh wells. too late to back out. $53 buckksss~ T.T

Tmr meeting charmaine to study, hopefully. :)

GAH! Hungry. cannot tahan. byebye. -.-



Girl, i'll really miss you. Remember that i'll always be here for you. :) If it's one thing i regret about getting to know you, it's not getting to know you better. Love you loads. :)

Saturday, March 6, 2010 { 6:39 PM }

These few days starhub connection has been reaaalllyy sucky!
It's awful. slow internet connection and really really weak man. :/

Anyways. for the first time this year, i ain't faking it.
Really been sick. Flu, cough, the works. Headache is da killa, yo~ X)

Yeap, but don't worry. I'm feeling alotalot better :]

Brought Matthew Lim to church yesterday.
& Hallelujah praise the Lord, he got saved. :D
yeah. Really wanna thank Matthew for giving me the oppurtunity to bring you to church.
I really hope it was a great experience for you.
Trust me, yesterday was a turning point in your life, you made the best decision ever;)
Also wanna thank Kenneth and Zi Zong for coming along with him, it was great. :]
hope y'all had a fun time at my church, and cornerstone will always welcome you back with open arms ;)
Sooo many lives were saved yesterday, and it was terrific. :]
Thank God for salvation at Cornerstong Community Church! ;)

Tomorrow is another monday. *SIGH* xD
Then again, i'd better enjoy school while I can ;)
I really hope i'll do better. Raelly gotta buck up and start studying! :D JIAYOU! :D
Okay, My aim is 9 Points L1R4. :X
English: A2/B3
Emath: A1
Comb. Science: A1
Comb Humans: B3 OR Lit: A2
Music: A2/B3 OR A math: A2 (highly doubtful bout reaching this -.-)
:D
:D
:D

Okay. March holidays gonna be a hit~ I hope :D
Already got plans to go out with Shan and Jaime go movie and makan <3<3
and plans with Vicky to go shopping :D
Friday (cross country) i'm not gonna go, i think :X I'll pro'lly go for lunch and chat with Don :D:D
I can't run, and i'm sick. Or at least i hope it lasts till friday :D
So many people have been going into NS
it's a really odd feeling seeing friends in pixellated, camouflage uniforms and no hair. xD
but it's awesome. :]
Since the time Wee Kiat went in till now, about a year, he's lost so much weight and looks really fit now. :]
Jiajian as usual, has pretty much always been fit -.-
Jasper just went in, and he's botak! but he looks better like that :x
Theo, Yan Xiang are all going in to army and that's like. woah
okay.. Daddy's nagging. darn it. T_T okayy. Byeee~ :]

Tuesday, March 2, 2010 { 5:38 PM }

gosh. Really haven't posted in super. super. long. haha!
Nothing much has been going on but well stepping down from council board soon.
it's gonna be a bittersweet retirement.
It's gonna be super weird to see me name up there on a plague!
can't believe time flies that fast. I'm like. sec 4. taking o levels.
Hopefully I'll get into a poly or jc of my choice lah :D

The seniors going into poly will be starting school in two months.
Still worried for them! Don't get influenced, okayy!!

Today going back to SAC to visit. after. 3 years. :O
Haha. hopefully i'll get to see Miss Mong and Zhang lao shi! ^^
meeting celeste and spencer for dinner.. and supper (obviously spencer's idea)
Then later tonight everyone's gonna dress nicenice and go for the tkam play :D
Awesome-nesss ttm! :D
Lit is da best, yo~

So far results has been so-so, except for english. i just stunned there when i saw it. I failed english for the first time in my life! SAD FACE:( 10/25 for compre eh!
but other than that for common test.. Emath A1, Physics A2, Chemistry B3, Social Studies B4, English E8... Yup. that's about it. still alright, i guess.

Hope to get in touch with some friends soon, like michael! :D
It's really odd cause we've been through so much. like really weird events.
but now we're really close, only after he's outta the school -.-
Mike, we meet up for lunch and movie soon, kay? :D
Of course, already missing the 2009 grads. :(( hate to say it, but They were awesome.
Miss them loads, especially the OGLs! ^^

Saturday, January 30, 2010 { 8:05 AM }

Lazy to post. Zam ah zam always ask me to update. haha. Also nothing to sayyy!!

Well, sec 1 camp was funfunfun!! :D
haha. very tiring five and a half hours of sleep over two ngihts.
been telling like everyone!
Had like 14 hours of sleep last night. shiok shiok! ^^
The sec 1s loved it and got hooked to all the awesome catchy cheers and mass dance, it was great. :)
1/7 was funfunfun, noisy and playful. a handful, but they're awesome. :)
Good job, fal and soup :]
slept during camp, thank God the instructor was so nice! :)
Gonna realllyy miss the seniors.. :(
Next year gonna ask them back again!!! X)
love y'all loads. :)

Thursday, January 7, 2010 { 4:44 AM }

It's a long post, so just bear with it. :]
We learn something new every day, don't we.
At the beginning of this year, i prayed to God that 2010 would be a year of change for me.
I wanted to have more confidence in what i do, and not be embarrassed so easily.
Recently, i was talking to a friend, who couldn't change his ways, and he was so frustrated.
After talking to him, it got me thinking.
So I asked myself "Am i worthy of giving him such advice? Who am I to give him such advice when I myself don't follow what I say? I haven't taken a step in change"
Thanks, senior. :]
But today I will, cause it's never too late to start.
Today something happened, and though i found it a small matter, it wasn't so to someone else.
That especially got me thinking about my life, it got me thinking about what i'm doing. It got me thinking about my new year resolution, and what i'm doing at all to acheive that. & suddenly a verse in the bible came into my head, and I realised, it's time for me to take my step of change.

Today, I wanna share with y'all what happened.
In the bus on the way to a polytechnic for a school visit,
I borrowed Afiqah's phone.
My genius idea of a joke was to switch my name in the contact list with a teacher's (I won't state her name),
and play a prank by sms-ing her, see her reply. Then tell her, It was me and i meant it as a joke.
What started of as an innocent prank came off totally wrong.
It was too big a prank, i went too far.
I'm not ashamed to admit my fault, because i know where i went wrong and why.
But more importantly, i understand that no one is perfect, and I make mistakes too.
This was a prank Afiqah herself once played on Destin, i believed she herself would be able to take a joke she played on someone else, maybe i thought from my perspective, cause I knew I would not have gotten angry..
But every person is different, and no one is to blame.
So i sms-ed her this "i'm very disappointed in the way you planned for the CCA open house"
Her response was "F*** sia" & celeste realised she was angry.
I quickly sms-ed her that i was kidding, and she simply replied "That's mean." when celeste grabbed her to hold her back from shifting to take a seat elsewhere on the bus.
We sms-ed her to apologise, but received no reply.
She was smiling, and i didn't realise she was angry.
I only realised she was serious later on at the polytechnic when she totally ignored us.
No matter how Celeste literally begged her to not be angry, she shook it off and continued to talk to her friends as if Celeste were invisible.
Back at school, celeste tried again yet to no avail. She panicked and kept begging till she broke down in tears. Afiqah said she forgave Celeste, but it would take some time. What more did we want from her.
I asked Celeste why she cried, and she told me the friendship means alot to her.
Me? I honestly simply didn't even try to beg her for her forgiveness. I didn't even apologise a second time. Instead i was starting to feel upset, and i didn't understand why.
& That's exactly what got me thinking.

I said rudely that she was overreacting and i didn't understand why a small joke got her so worked up.
She said that I didn't understand the pressure that was put on her during the event, so i had no right to assume. That was true, and i sincerely apologise for that.
This is what i want to say to afiqah, so i hope you read it, dear.

Fiqah, I treasure our friendship.
It's not that i don't feel apologetic, i really do.
But i also have to say frankly I was upset.
I was upset because I saw you push away someone's care and concern.
I didn't understand why It was so hard for you to forgive.
But I now know how much that situation meant to you.
Pressure? Don't get me started, i have my fair share, i do empathize your position.
Nevertheless, different people can handle different amounts of pressure, that's something no one can control. & i know that too. Yet i was rude, and so i apologise once again.
I wanted to ask you "If you treasure her friendship enough, learn to forgive & forget"
but i know it's easier said than done, so i won't push you.
I'll be very honest here, cause i think it's nothing to hide.
When i'm assigned a task like that, i think it an honour that comes with the power.
& with great power comes great responsibility. I just feel that if you're half-heartedly doing it,
you might as well just not. If you really treat it as an honour, but the pressure's too much to handle, that's why CCAs have VCPs and CPs. You're a team and you work together to share the load, don't take it alone. You'll be overwhelmed by the amount of pressure and work.
As a friend, I'd honestly want to tell you: Please treasure what you have, don't just cherish them.
When I was thinking, I realised a lot of things.
I was putting myself in Afiqah's shoes, but just in her position, not as Afiqah herself.
I wasn't upset because of what happened. I was upset she wasn't sincere in forgiving Celeste. I felt that meant she didn't treasure the friendship enough.
Dear, i know Celeste means a lot to you. So that's why I'm telling you all this and being very honest.
When I compared it with my life, I said to myself "If i were you, I wouldn't be pissed."
Do you wanna know why, dear?
I don't know if you realised, but you're soo soo very fortunate.
Allow me to illustrate.
You have a loving Clique, people who would always be there for you, always hang around you.
Your bubbly personality gets you acquaintances fast, and your trustworthy nature gets you friends.
Apart from your clique, you have amazing friends like Celeste, who would beg for your forgiveness because the friendship between you two means just THAT much to her. She doesn't need an end to the friendship to break down, cause she doesn't even want you to be angry at her for a split second.
Being thick-skinned, I'm asking you.. For a second please put yourself in my shoes..
It's not that i'm great, neither is it that i want sympathy or pity.
I'm just being honest and frank.
My life.
I have many acquaintances, yet very few who are really friends.
I'm so busy with council work and helping the school, I don't have time for my clique and i drifted from them. I don't even have time for friends.
My family? My relationship with them isn't great. at all. And I also have financial difficulties.
So.. friends? Clique? family? You name it, you have it. Yet, you don't seem to treasure it that much..
I'm not jealous, cause I'm very content with what I have.
I just don't want you to lose what you have out of anger.
Look.. It's my fault, and my idea. I sincerely want you to not ignore Celeste, cause you don't know how much it hurts her. You really don't..
Finally, i wanna say that I really am sorry. Your friendship means the world to me & i don't want you to be pissed with me. I'm sorry if i hurt you, but you know I have never had any intentions to.
Nevertheless, an apology is all I can offer. Whether you forgive and move on or just choose to hold the grudge, that's entirely up to you. Like i said, I won't push you.
So I sincerely apologise for what happened today, and yes, it's on facebook for all to see.
You can be very upset about what i said, and the attitude i seem to be giving you with this post, but i mean it with all my heart and soul.
I sincerely also want you to not be pissed with Celeste and not ignore her.
Perhaps to you, she's just 1 of your many friends.
but to me, every friend I have, especially if they want so badly to stay by my side, means really so much to me.
So please, treasure her. Cause trust me, It's a friendship worth to keep.
Love you, babe. I'm sorry.

A verse from the bible came to my mind. and it was "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid" So please, if I'm wrong in saying any of the above of things to come, correct me. because i want to learn to love correction, for every one of it is a chance to learn. And from learning, i grow stronger.

The most beautiful word next to "love" & "us", is "forgive".
I don't know about you, but to me, "forgive" is such a powerful word. It means just as much as "love" and "sincerity". So don't say it if you don't mean it, because it'll just become a habit and lose it's meaning. People say "love is blind". To truly forgive is to no longer hold such anger and a grudge towards someone, because you love and treasure that person so much. Forgiveness. It isn't just a word, or just a formality. it goes so much further than that. It's a skill, and an art inculcated in you when God created you. I only wished the world saw it the same way. It's neither a casual word nor a joke, for with forgiveness, there would be 70% less hatred, anger, frustration, grudges and hence 90% less war in the world.
So you see, forgiveness is a powerful word, and a major key in peace between anyone and everyone.
To me, i think every forgiving person makes a difference in the world.

So how about you? Would you start making that difference and think the same?
& think about it, for those you hold a grudge against at this point of time, even Fiqah, if you are one. Did you.. really, truly, sincerely.. forgive them out of love? or was it just a formality? If it was a casual comment, I sincerely hope you think about it.. and reconsider. We are all human, and no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, even yourself. Don't drag it so please don't say "I'll forgive them tomorrow", because forgiving truly makes that big amount of a difference to someone and everyone. You really don't know what will happen tomorrow. Live every day as if it were your last. :)

That's all I had to say. :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009 { 7:38 AM }

Went out with the cell group
Had cell group outing and steamboat!
My group 3 Vanessa(s) and 1 Eugene. HAHA. xD
funfunfun :]
Super funny :D
Played 3 stations.. ate celery. EEK.
And went to Celia's house to makan! :D
her house is nice xP
anyways. Cleaning up was like :O
Alot of dishes. Broke a bowl :( Sorry celia!
Me and BigVan = maid 1 & maid 2. xD
JiaJian super poor thing, after cell group still go to work till 5am! ><

Things at home hasn't been great. Everytime i'm home, i wish i was out. but when i'm out, i really do feel bad for not being home to spend time with my family. The feeling sucks. :(